WHAT IS FEAR AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT?
FEAR has such an impact on our lives, it controls not only what we do but what we don't do too.
In this episode, I share my journey through fear and as I learn how to spot fear and overcome it too.
I share practical ways to understand fear and elements that create fear.
0:00 Introduction
0:37 What is fear?
2:42 What people say about fear on Facebook
3:57 What do people say about fear on LinkedIn?
4:45 How do I learn about fear?
6:00 Dr. Wayne Dyer says that "When you are in fear there is no room for love, and when you are in love there is no room for fear".
7:25 What fear really is?
7:32 Fear needs two things
7:44 Fear is about Time
7:52 Fear is always about the future
8:15 Fear is always your imagination
8:42 Fear is always about something bigger than you
10:01 How knowing about your fear is a good thing?
11:00 How to overcome fear?
12:17 How fear crippled me?
14:28 How do I recognize and overcome fear?
15:16 Steps to overcome fear
17:16 Haafiz says "Fear is the cheapest room you have in your house..."
17:22 This is what Rumi says about fear "On what fear is, it's non-acceptance of the uncertainty..."
19:08 Dr. Wayne Dyer says "If you knew who walked beside you..."
19:40 Ram Dass' poem on Fear and Love
21:50 Thank You
22:27 Ending
Please have a listen and let me know what your takeaway is and if this episode adds any value, do share it with others.
Connecting with Manpreet
https://linktr.ee/themanpreetbawa
Transcript
Welcome everyone.
Speaker:Today's special,
Speaker:you know, if you take away
Speaker:even 2% of today's talk
Speaker:is going to change your life,
Speaker:I promise you
Speaker:it will because it changed my life.
Speaker:And you know, I'm here today
Speaker:standing with you
Speaker:on this podcast
Speaker:because of some of the tools that I use
Speaker:to get where I am.
Speaker:So without wasting time.
Speaker:I'm going to dive right into it.
Speaker:Today, we're going to talk about fear.
Speaker:Have you ever been afraid of anything
Speaker:or have any kind of fear, right?
Speaker:I think most of us will say yes,
Speaker:in fact,
Speaker:everybody should be raising hands
Speaker:because different times of our life,
Speaker:we have been afraid of something,
Speaker:even if you know
Speaker:we have
Speaker:done things
Speaker:despite of the fear we have been right.
Speaker:A fear is
Speaker:something that we
Speaker:deal with day in, day out.
Speaker:And you know, when we are born
Speaker:as babies, we were afraid of loud sounds.
Speaker:And when we grew up,
Speaker:there were different things
Speaker:that we saw
Speaker:in our environment, in our life
Speaker:that made us afraid,
Speaker:whether it was sound, uncertainty,
Speaker:you know, parents,
Speaker:teachers.
Speaker:Brothers, sisters, elder siblings,
Speaker:whatever it is that I, we grew up
Speaker:with the flu, in fact, you know,
Speaker:the science says that we are only born
Speaker:with one fear that is of sound.
Speaker:The rest of the fear
Speaker:we learn in this life, we adapt.
Speaker:As we grow,
Speaker:our fear grows in different areas.
Speaker:And, I didn't know that about myself,
Speaker:but now I see that in my children,
Speaker:as they grow up into different ages
Speaker:from the babies.
Speaker:to now six years old,
Speaker:I see them developing different fears.
Speaker:Obviously, some of the fears
Speaker:we have instilled in them right
Speaker:because we wanted them to
Speaker:obey us.
Speaker:Or, you know, at times you
Speaker:when you want to have
Speaker:some discipline, you
Speaker:do whatever you can.
Speaker:And even though
Speaker:you don't want it as a parent,
Speaker:but you inevitably end up
Speaker:developing a fear in them
Speaker:so that they are able to listen
Speaker:and afraid
Speaker:or no,
Speaker:do not do something
Speaker:that is a risk to them.
Speaker:So we develop that fear.
Speaker:Was, you know.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:what's really interesting is yesterday
Speaker:only I made a post on Facebook group
Speaker:in a private community and asked people
Speaker:what what is their greatest fear?
Speaker:What are they afraid of?
Speaker:What keeps them up at the night
Speaker:kind of thing, I made a question.
Speaker:And immediately
Speaker:people started interacting,
Speaker:telling different answers
Speaker:of what they are afraid
Speaker:of all the way from,
Speaker:you know, starting from goals,
Speaker:loud noises, walls,
Speaker:you know, sickness,
Speaker:being alone, partner leaving
Speaker:them, taking care of parents,
Speaker:and also a fear of losing a loved one.
Speaker:Fear of dying before somebody.
Speaker:The fear of somebody dying before them.
Speaker:You, you know, fear of
Speaker:not having enough money, fear of not
Speaker:going to your full potential.
Speaker:There's so much
Speaker:fear that was in that post was like,
Speaker:I think over 600 people
Speaker:commented like
Speaker:and within the first half hour or so.
Speaker:So what I did was I was like, OK, great.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:people are open and people are aware
Speaker:what they're afraid of.
Speaker:Let me go.
Speaker:Check this on LinkedIn.
Speaker:And guess what cricket?
Speaker:Nobody did,
Speaker:nobody left a single comment.
Speaker:Exactly the same post,
Speaker:but people are too afraid to even see
Speaker:and admit what they're afraid and being,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:afraid of being judged
Speaker:on that professional platform.
Speaker:And I understand,
Speaker:I am not judging them,
Speaker:but I'm just saying
Speaker:this is what fear does.
Speaker:Even though we want to say
Speaker:something or participate,
Speaker:we are just too conscious.
Speaker:Today, I wanted to talk about fear
Speaker:because I see it as number one thing
Speaker:that stops people
Speaker:from living their full potential
Speaker:or living their life freely.
Speaker:I saw that for myself, and when I
Speaker:saw that and I was able to change myself,
Speaker:it didn't.
Speaker:I started to look back
Speaker:and see what changed, right?
Speaker:There were period I was in fear.
Speaker:I was not making decisions.
Speaker:I was not moving because I was afraid.
Speaker:So I started to look back. What?
Speaker:Changed and how it's changed,
Speaker:so I could
Speaker:possibly share it with people and maybe,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:they can use the same things
Speaker:and see if that helps them.
Speaker:So I've been working on that
Speaker:and I still work in progress,
Speaker:but I thought I'll share
Speaker:some of the
Speaker:discoveries
Speaker:I've made through my own journey.
Speaker:I have to tell you that
Speaker:this is not something new
Speaker:you might have heard at
Speaker:and another shape or form.
Speaker:Fear has been talked
Speaker:about since time and age.
Speaker:You know sages
Speaker:who had walked through this
Speaker:Earth have talked about fear.
Speaker:So we have books, scriptures,
Speaker:all kind of
Speaker:wisdom that available to us about fear.
Speaker:But what I am going to share
Speaker:is how I have applied
Speaker:some of it with my life,
Speaker:and hopefully it can be of use to you.
Speaker:As I was diving into fear.
Speaker:one of the things I was reminded of this
Speaker:quote by Wayne Dyer, So Dr.
Speaker:Wayne Dyer
Speaker:said that when you are in fear,
Speaker:there is no room for love.
Speaker:And when you are in love,
Speaker:there is no room for fear.
Speaker:And I thought how beautifully describes
Speaker:any relationship
Speaker:and it applies to any relationship
Speaker:when you
Speaker:are afraid and fearful of your partner
Speaker:leaving or somebody rejecting you.
Speaker:You cannot have love when they are.
Speaker:It just
Speaker:goes right.
Speaker:And equally,
Speaker:when you are in love, we are so excited.
Speaker:There's no fear you can go and talk
Speaker:and do things that you
Speaker:otherwise wouldn't do
Speaker:because you're in that crazy love feeling
Speaker:your adrenaline is running
Speaker:and you are able to do
Speaker:those things that you,
Speaker:you know
Speaker:when you sat down
Speaker:and think you could not have done it,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:think about
Speaker:the times
Speaker:when you propose your first partner or
Speaker:first girl or boy, you know you did it
Speaker:despite the
Speaker:fear, and you must out,
Speaker:you know, so many other things that
Speaker:maybe when you look back
Speaker:today would seem crazier than you think.
Speaker:How did I do that?
Speaker:What got into me to do that, right?
Speaker:So that's what love allows
Speaker:and or that's what fear stops us doing.
Speaker:Let's look at what fear really is
Speaker:in order for you to have a fear
Speaker:you need to have two things.
Speaker:One, it is directly in relation
Speaker:with time. Right.
Speaker:You are afraid or fearful
Speaker:of something that will happen in time.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And it's that time is future.
Speaker:It's always, always, always future.
Speaker:Fear is always about the future.
Speaker:Even if you are
Speaker:afraid of something that might repeat
Speaker:something that happened in
Speaker:the past can happen again.
Speaker:But it will happen in future.
Speaker:It's not happening now.
Speaker:Your fear is always about future.
Speaker:And it has,
Speaker:and because it's always about future.
Speaker:It's always imagination, right,
Speaker:because you cannot be in future
Speaker:without imagining about it,
Speaker:it's your projection of your future,
Speaker:it's your thoughts,
Speaker:what you believe could happen
Speaker:in the future, right?
Speaker:So it's always about time, it's
Speaker:always about future.
Speaker:And there's is usually
Speaker:the second thing is
Speaker:there's usually somebody or something
Speaker:else in the world
Speaker:that is bigger than you.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:It is always about something
Speaker:that is bigger than you.
Speaker:It could be as a children,
Speaker:it could be a parent.
Speaker:It could be something unknown.
Speaker:As grown up, bosses, some life situation,
Speaker:but it's usually bigger than you
Speaker:that you cannot
Speaker:find a way to control in the moment.
Speaker:So you're afraid of that thing.
Speaker:So that's what fear is.
Speaker:It's about time.
Speaker:It's about something bigger
Speaker:and it's about the future.
Speaker:And it's really in the imagination.
Speaker:It's your story
Speaker:that you're building in your mind
Speaker:based on your past,
Speaker:if you understand that.
Speaker:That, you know, it's a story,
Speaker:it may or may not happen in future,
Speaker:but it it's my imagination that,
Speaker:as I said right now.
Speaker:Then maybe it makes you easier to deal
Speaker:with, right?
Speaker:It gives you a little bit of
Speaker:breathing space so that you know,
Speaker:you can do something about it, right?
Speaker:Think of it
Speaker:all the people that
Speaker:commented on my Facebook post
Speaker:about all the fears that they have.
Speaker:In a way,
Speaker:they are aware of it
Speaker:because they have lived
Speaker:and relived that fear in their minds,
Speaker:in their imagination over and over again.
Speaker:But they are aware of
Speaker:the fact that you are aware of something.
Speaker:That means you are in
Speaker:that you're
Speaker:not in that situation already,
Speaker:you're out of that situation.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Here I am. Right.
Speaker:Let's look at it.
Speaker:Imagine this is fear,
Speaker:and if I can see it from here
Speaker:standing here,
Speaker:I can see and see,
Speaker:I am afraid of this, right?
Speaker:That means there is already separation.
Speaker:That means I'm already out of it.
Speaker:Otherwise, I will know that this is fear.
Speaker:You know, the fact that I can see it,
Speaker:that means I'm already out of this fear.
Speaker:I I can distance myself.
Speaker:I have another distance to recognize it
Speaker:and do something about it.
Speaker:So that's
Speaker:a first realization
Speaker:when you realize that you are afraid
Speaker:it's a win win situation because
Speaker:your realization itself,
Speaker:your awareness itself is
Speaker:is an indication
Speaker:that you're a separate
Speaker:from that fear that that fear,
Speaker:whatever it is, imagination
Speaker:that might have an tomorrow or,
Speaker:you know, the next moment, but it's still
Speaker:separate and you have
Speaker:.
Speaker:You have time to do something about it.
Speaker:When I realized this
Speaker:had made such a big difference for me
Speaker:because I knew I could do something
Speaker:about whatever the fear is, whatever it
Speaker:might happen tomorrow or day after
Speaker:or in a month because I knew, given
Speaker:the time
Speaker:I can come up with some solution
Speaker:to fix the thing, right?
Speaker:So
Speaker:so hopefully.
Speaker:When you start your journey
Speaker:and recognize your fear,
Speaker:this will help you.
Speaker:The other thing is fear,
Speaker:because this is a learning experience.
Speaker:You have learned it from
Speaker:something in your life
Speaker:or somebody else's life,
Speaker:whether it's movie in your life,
Speaker:when you've seen somebody,
Speaker:something has given you that fear.
Speaker:Usually a trained, programed
Speaker:thing that stays in your memory
Speaker:in your body.
Speaker:You know that's what you call your mind.
Speaker:That is in your mind.
Speaker:That fear is in your mind.
Speaker:Let me give
Speaker:you an example.
Speaker:As a child, you know, as a child,
Speaker:whenever I did something wrong
Speaker:or my day
Speaker:where I was at risk
Speaker:or putting myself at risk
Speaker:and older, my parent or teacher would,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:yell, scream, shout
Speaker:to warn me
Speaker:who would make me laugh and bright
Speaker:because there was.
Speaker:They were bigger than me,
Speaker:so I was afraid of that.
Speaker:The louder voice has made
Speaker:clear that fear
Speaker:and that somehow
Speaker:stayed within my body doors.
Speaker:Those instances where somebody shouted
Speaker:because I did something wrong,
Speaker:it made me numb and because it happened
Speaker:more than once
Speaker:and because it also had something in
Speaker:my memory, I repeated that instead
Speaker:because I was scared of it in my mind.
Speaker:I read the story more than once.
Speaker:A lot of times,
Speaker:so to speak, it became part of my memory.
Speaker:Now.
Speaker:30 years later, the same
Speaker:five year old child who is now.
Speaker:35 years old, sitting in a meeting,
Speaker:a boss or a customer
Speaker:or somebody a higher authority.
Speaker:Social says something in a, you know,
Speaker:very serious tone of voice.
Speaker:What do you think it does to me?
Speaker:It immediately triggers the same program
Speaker:that five year old child had
Speaker:the same fear,
Speaker:and all of sudden I become numb again.
Speaker:You know?
Speaker:And I don't have any answer,
Speaker:I don't see anything.
Speaker:I'm afraid
Speaker:I couldn't,
Speaker:you know, I noticed so many times myself,
Speaker:I didn't know why I wouldn't talk
Speaker:until I recognized
Speaker:it was the same fear of that
Speaker:five year old that was running in my body
Speaker:that was afraid of the loud voices
Speaker:from authoritative figures .
Speaker:And that's why
Speaker:I could never say things to these people.
Speaker:But once I realized that
Speaker:this is that fear,
Speaker:once I gave that light and I say, Oh,
Speaker:I continued,
Speaker:You heard that five year old fear
Speaker:and no longer five years.
Speaker:I'm 35 years old.
Speaker:Thank you, you
Speaker:know, for protecting me at that time.
Speaker:I think we can do without, you know.
Speaker:And as I said that, I literally said
Speaker:that I was able
Speaker:to walk away from that fear.
Speaker:It made me scared.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:now somebody else,
Speaker:it just makes me laugh or I have,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:it does not trigger anything in my body
Speaker:for me to become numb or resist
Speaker:that fear or resist that love,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:dialog
Speaker:the action that you can take from
Speaker:there is look at and, you know,
Speaker:look at the things you are fearful about,
Speaker:you know, make a list of things.
Speaker:If you don't know what
Speaker:you're fearful about,
Speaker:absorb your thoughts.
Speaker:Then you know, every day you write down
Speaker:what you are thinking,
Speaker:what how you're feeling, just write down
Speaker:every hour that you know,
Speaker:these are certain things I thought.
Speaker:This is how I felt the last one hour.
Speaker:Make a note of each week
Speaker:a lot of your emotions
Speaker:and see how fear shows up
Speaker:in different areas
Speaker:and different situations.
Speaker:And as you note
Speaker:the situation where you are
Speaker:fearful challenge, ask the question
Speaker:Where did I learn this fear from?
Speaker:How did it come in my body?
Speaker:And in fact,
Speaker:as you start to recognize
Speaker:that you're
Speaker:being fearful
Speaker:about something in that situation
Speaker:to simply breathe in
Speaker:and feel, feel the fear in your body,
Speaker:sit with if feel where it is.
Speaker:And just by doing that,
Speaker:you are putting a spotlight on the fear
Speaker:and it will fade away.
Speaker:You will recognize its imagination
Speaker:and it will fade away.
Speaker:And if not, if there's something that is
Speaker:has a lot stronger hold on you,
Speaker:it will allow you to see deeper.
Speaker:Sit with it.
Speaker:Tell yourself
Speaker:that you're allowed to be afraid.
Speaker:Tell yourself that it's okay
Speaker:to be fearful at this party.
Speaker:Literally, say those words to yourself
Speaker:and see what happens.
Speaker:The fact that you order
Speaker:that fear
Speaker:the fact that you give it a light
Speaker:attention
Speaker:and you recognize
Speaker:that there is something that caused that
Speaker:fear,
Speaker:it allows that fear to just fade away
Speaker:so that you practice it.
Speaker:NF Times, it will go away.
Speaker:I am telling you, you will start to see
Speaker:a lot more
Speaker:freedom in your day, in your life
Speaker:if you start doing these things
Speaker:obviously was a mistake
Speaker:that lived thousands of years ago,
Speaker:he said.
Speaker:Fear is the cheapest room
Speaker:you have in your house.
Speaker:I would love to see you
Speaker:living in better conditions
Speaker:and this is what Rumi said on fear.
Speaker:On what fear is, it is non
Speaker:acceptance of uncertainty.
Speaker:Once you accept uncertainty.
Speaker:It is all adventure.
Speaker:Think of it, you know, when, when,
Speaker:how you can
Speaker:come to their acceptance
Speaker:that tomorrow is uncertain,
Speaker:tomorrow is unknown
Speaker:and that we don't know everything
Speaker:and we cannot control everything
Speaker:just gives you a moment
Speaker:and freedom that
Speaker:the fact
Speaker:that I cannot control
Speaker:and do everything anyways.
Speaker:You let it go.
Speaker:You let go of
Speaker:fear when you start to accept that
Speaker:the only do
Speaker:certain things in your life are
Speaker:being born.
Speaker:And that will die.
Speaker:Everything else in between is a drama
Speaker:that we don't know
Speaker:and that will unfold as it is to unfold
Speaker:from moment to moment.
Speaker:If you're able to accept that,
Speaker:you know, things will pick up later.
Speaker:As I mentioned earlier,
Speaker:the reason
Speaker:I'm excited about talking about fear is
Speaker:the power it gives.
Speaker:When you're able
Speaker:to get freedom from the fear
Speaker:or do just things despite of
Speaker:having the fear,
Speaker:you know,
Speaker:the fear less
Speaker:does not mean absence of fear.
Speaker:The fear
Speaker:less people are those
Speaker:who are able to take action
Speaker:despite of the fear.
Speaker:So I'm really excited
Speaker:that I'm working on this.
Speaker:I'm going to end this episode
Speaker:with some of the wisdom that others
Speaker:who have walked before us
Speaker:have left us with.
Speaker:I am just sharing it
Speaker:because it made a difference to me
Speaker:and hoping it will. So, you know.
Speaker:If you knew who walked beside you.
Speaker:At all times
Speaker:on the past that you have chosen,
Speaker:you could never experience fear
Speaker:or doubt again.
Speaker:Let me repeat.
Speaker:If you knew who walked beside
Speaker:you on the path that you have chosen,
Speaker:you could never experience
Speaker:fear and doubt again.
Speaker:Dr. Indya.
Speaker:Ahead in this episode of this point
Speaker:that Ramdas shared was given to him
Speaker:by his friend
Speaker:Emmanuel.
Speaker:And this is about fear.
Speaker:What does the voice of fear
Speaker:whisper to you?
Speaker:Fear speaks to you in logic and reason.
Speaker:It assumes the language of love itself.
Speaker:Fear tells you it was to make you safe.
Speaker:Love says you are safe.
Speaker:Fear is give me symbols,
Speaker:give me frozen images,
Speaker:give me something I can rely on loving
Speaker:Tutsis only give me this moment.
Speaker:He will
Speaker:fear, would walk
Speaker:you down
Speaker:the narrow path,
Speaker:promising to take you
Speaker:where you want to go.
Speaker:Love says.
Speaker:Open your arms and fly with me
Speaker:every moment of your life.
Speaker:You're offered an opportunity to choose
Speaker:from love or fear, to tread the earth
Speaker:or soul to the heavens.
Speaker:Why would fear want to oppose the truth?
Speaker:Why would fear want to oppose the truth?
Speaker:Because
Speaker:truth has power to transform the fear.
Speaker:Fear
Speaker:believes it's fighting for its life.
Speaker:If you no longer allow fear
Speaker:to step violently
Speaker:before you and shout of Cataclysm,
Speaker:it will create behind you
Speaker:and see something reasonable.
Speaker:It will creep behind you
Speaker:that says something reasonable
Speaker:in your year.
Speaker:Beware of reasonable, rational thinking.
Speaker:Reasonable supposition
Speaker:doubt is rabbit's foot off the fear.
Speaker:Ask your higher wisdom if it's not true
Speaker:that without fear, you would have arrived
Speaker:exactly where you are now.
Speaker:And more pleasantly worry
Speaker:and fear a lot,
Speaker:the tickets on the big screen.
Speaker:They are the extra baggage.
Speaker:You're going that way anyway.
Speaker:You are going that way anyways.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:I hope this was.
Speaker:I hope
Speaker:this makes a difference in your life,
Speaker:and you're able to take these principles,
Speaker:these words of wisdom
Speaker:and apply in your life
Speaker:and it changes and transforms your life.
Speaker:And if it does.
Speaker:Please share this episode with others.
Speaker:Also,
Speaker:would you be kind enough to share with me
Speaker:in the comments?
Speaker:What are your takeaways or what
Speaker:are you afraid?
Speaker:How do you work with your fear?
Speaker:Let me know how it is ruining your life
Speaker:and interact with me less less.
Speaker:Take home fear together.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I hope you enjoy the show
Speaker:as much as I did
Speaker:and got some valuable nuggets out of it.
Speaker:If you liked it,
Speaker:there are other shows you can watch.
Speaker:They are exactly what you need,
Speaker:and I ask you to like, comment.
Speaker:Subscribe.
Speaker:Let me know what you thought of the show.
Speaker:Really, I want to hear from you
Speaker:first
Speaker:had what you felt,
Speaker:what you liked, what you didn't like.
